It felt a little strange looking around the room at the meeting last night. I saw friends I hadn’t seen in a while and it was like a high school class reunion. Everybody looked so much older. Everybody looked like they aged 10 years. You could see it in their faces and how much slower they moved around.

The last time I saw you in the pic you sent, you looked the same as you did the day I first laid eyes on you, when I saw your smiling face online. The young vibrant woman. The sexy woman. The woman who could take on anything and do anything and fix everything. So refreshing. You energize me!

Do I look older? I don’t feel older and that’s what’s so strange. I feel like a young man in an old man’s body. Don’t get me wrong, I can see it when I look in the mirror. I can see the gray hair, the wrinkles and the bags under my eyes, but I don’t feel like the man in the mirror. I feel younger, virile, full of energy and ready for new quests and frenetic excitement.

And you make me feel younger too. You remind me of the young man I was at your age and you excite me with the things we do together. You remind me of growth, big times, happy times, and the vast opportunities that await us. I feel alive again, ready to take on the world. I feel happy and free and ready for another day. I feel ageless.

Thanks, your energy is contagious. It’s because of you I feel this way. 😊

My Ideal Friend

A woman who gives me challenges and encourages me to do better. A woman I can use as a sounding board, to bounce ideas off of. A woman who trusts me. A woman who strokes my ego. A woman who asks me how I’m doing. A woman who listens to me and gives me advice on what I can do better. A woman who cares about me. A woman who accepts me for who I am. A woman interested in sharing the beauty of a life worth living.


As I write this letter to you today, I can see the sun shining high in the sky and I can feel the warmth of our creator. This bright sunny day reminds me of the first day I met you. Not because of the sun above, but because of the feelings that grew inside of me. You warm my soul. You know what attracted me to you. I don’t have to keep saying it over and over again. Yes, you had something I saw and something I so desperately wanted.

I’ll be honest, maybe for the first time in my life, I’ll be brutally honest. When I first saw you, I wanted sex, but to my surprise you gave me love. And as time passed on, I wanted friendship and that’s when you blessed me with a spiritual partnership.

And let’s not forget a big turning point in our lives. When my son died, you consoled me and soothed my tattered heart. I don’t deserve to have such a beautiful woman in my life, and I surely don’t deserve to have you as my wife.

This letter is meant to be a testament to the love I feel for you. I can’t unring the bell that rings true for me this day. I can’t change my mind and the way I feel for you deep inside. It’s real. It’s true. It’s the way I feel for you. Oh, how I miss your smiling face and your warm embrace.

You are the one who still puts a smile on my face, even on the days I’m feeling down. And I can see you smiling too, as you accuse me of playing games and acting like a clown. How does it feel to be a mother to a motherless child?

I love you and I will always love you, not in the way you expect and definitely not in the way you want. But this is not a perfect world we live in. Sometimes we want A and we get B. Sometimes I want you but you don’t want me. That’s OK, everything will work out in the end. God has a plan for us and that’s the crazy world we live in. That’s what is meant to be my friend.


To My Special Friend

Yes, I am your special friend and yes, we still have so much in common. We’ve both been banished to a world of make believe with kindred souls sharing the same affliction. We have no elbows. It’s a strange malady, but is the glass half full or half empty? We can’t feed ourselves, but we can surely feed one another. If only you let me. Tell me what you want and help me feed it to you. And I’ll tell you what I want and you can do the same.

When I read your letter I could only think about myself and how I would love to hear something you’ve recorded. I would love to hear your voice in that special way. I would love to be mesmerized by your gift from God. It would be music to my ears. Are you allowed to share your voice in any way?

Feed me. If I cannot hear it, can I hear about it? Can you do what you’ve done already and respond to my childish pleas for love once again? Can you write to me?

I had a deep discussion with my wife and it has left me in a place full of passion. Not because of what she won’t allow me to do, but because of the door she left open. She loves me dearly and wants me to live my life in freedom, as long as I respect our marriage and work within certain boundaries.

My manhood will never feel the glorious warmth of the inside of you but I am allowed to talk about it. I can write erotica and pen wondrous love letters, if even of despair, even though I am not allowed to pursue my insatiable appetite for sex in real life. But this is good. This is OK. I am still alive and so are you. I know because you’ve written. And I am still longing to send you my love, although my heart’s been smitten.

Are you allowed to read and hear my messages in a bottle? Tell me the rules so I won’t break them and lure you into a world of the guilty ones wearing the scarlet letter on their chests. Can you read my erotica? Can you talk about what I’ve written? Your voice is not lost if your love is not lost. I can still hear it in the words you’ve written.

I can hear a longing for a world of passionate love. Yes, we can still feed each other, if we accept our limitations. It goes something like this.

We were given our five senses and maybe six. You can’t speak to me, but can you write to me? Can you listen to me and can you feel me? You can’t smell me but can you take a whiff of a fresh red rose and be reminded of my love for you? I know, it’s complicated, but can you see the trees and the flowers in the fields and smell the freedom of God’s gift to us? You can see me. You can hear me. You can feel me in your heart. Are you allowed to feel me in your private parts too? And if you can feel me, are you allowed to give love back and touch my soul?

Yes, you have already. Yes, you called me your friend. And I felt so good for a second. You wrote back to me and you kept our secret, if only for a minute. You allowed us to see each other again. Love will find a way. If you continue to hear my knock and let me in.

So spend a minute. Tell me the rules. What can you do? What would you be OK with? Are you allowed to write to me? Can we talk about sex in our writing? Is love an allowable topic of discussion? Can you read my love letters and enjoy the feelings I’m trying to portray? Is your moral code allowed to take your imagination away?

But maybe I am better left in a dream, the dream that created you, an infinitely beautiful and seductive goddess. Can you undress for me now and let me gawk at you through a window? Am I allowed to pleasure myself as I look at you dance in the distance? Or are you forced to close the blinds so this peeping tom will never you see again. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I saw the beauty in you. Will you let me see it again?

Or maybe it’s better to sever our ties. Maybe we should never meet online. Maybe the sparks that fly between us would be too great to resist as a fire burns out of control in our hearts. Maybe the only solution is stay apart. If that’s what you want, just tell me. Be honest. Tell me the truth. I’m a big boy. I can take it.

But if we can be friends and stay friends, feed me a little morsel of your love right now. Give me something. Anything. A kind word. A recording. Some outward expression of love and affection, because it is through your love and because of your love my world will be a better place. For I will take anything you give me and cherish it in my heart as we watch it grow into the well of emotion that I’m allowed to express in the erotica I write. And that is how we can both collaborate and procreate.

In any way we can, we should love one another. Writing love letters and sharing them with you is my way of expressing love. My only hope is to be able to pen the right words so you can feel this intense and passionate love meant for you.

What if you shared an inspirational reading instead? Can you record scripture and send it to me?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Where there is a will there is a way. Be creative. Let your juices flow. God has a plan. We will both feel good about it, if it was meant to be.

With undying love,



To My Next Girlfriend

I want you because you know exactly what to say when I need it. You know how to appeal to my sexual senses. You send me pics and audio recordings when I need them. You write erotica to me too. You like to get me off and I like to do it with you. You are a good friend to me. I want to shower you with gifts to show my appreciation. Why wouldn’t I fall head over heels in love with you?

To Mr. Hyde

Don’t worry. I know you are still there. I will let you out soon. Like a caged bird you sing, but your words don’t sound like me. I’m good. You’re bad. I’m a hopeless romantic. You are a neurotic scoundrel addicted to erotica and debauchery. Do I know you? Yes, you know I do. You bring out the worst in me every time I try to bring out the best in you.

I see you chipping away at my sanity, thoughtlessly encroaching on my reality. She has the key to your freedom. Don’t blame me. I am only an innocent bystander, quietly observing all of your shenanigans. You will escape soon. I can contain you much longer. I have to walk the dog and help you burn off some steam.

Don’t worry. I will let you out soon. Just try not to embarrass me so much again. I have a reputation to uphold. I can’t continue to live in sin.

From your understanding and empathetic friend.

Dr. Jekyll

International Date Line (IDL)

The International Date Line (IDL) is an imaginary line of demarcation on the surface of Earth that runs from the North Pole to the South Pole and demarcates the change of one calendar day to the next. It passes through the middle of the Pacific Ocean, roughly following the 180° line of longitude but deviating to pass around some territories and island groups. – Wikipedia

When you travel from American Somoa to Somoa at 12am the day changes from Thursday to Saturday and Friday is lost forever.  You found a time portal where you can travel a short distance to lose a day and when you go back the other way, from Somoa to American Somoa, the opposite happens, you gain a day.

You wake up one morning in a cloudy fog and realize you have awakened from yet another drunken stupor. You remember bits and pieces of a night out on the town at first with your girlfriends and then with a guy you met. You can vaguely remember he was handsome and ripped and there was another peculiar part of him you could barely recall through the haze. You remember your roll in the hay was preceded by a long, eloquent and love infused soliloquy. You remember a cocktail with a pungent taste, but you couldn’t remember if you swallowed it or spit it out.

You also couldn’t recall why he encouraged you to play along while he entertained you with his poetic phrases. You just remember hearing his question as you slowly lost consciousness after imbibing the proverbial one drink too many. Forward or backward? Fast forward or rewind? Pain or Pleasure? If you say forward, you can skip Friday as if it never happened. If you say backward, you can relive Friday all over again.

Not every day of sex is good. Not every day of sex is bad. Today you can trade your worst day for another. This is a tale of two stories. 1) What day would you like to skip? 2) What day would you like to repeat?

After you tell your first story you experience a shocking surprise. The unwanted day will slip slowly away never to darken your doorstep again. Out of sight out of mind. And as you write your second story an ancient time travel phenomenon will unfold right before your eyes, you’ll be gifted with another day of romantic bliss, but only if you reveal your most intimate kinks and triggers, one last time.

Your Smile

Today is a new day, a different day, the day when I tell you something I never told you before. I can’t help what I am about to say, sometimes the spirit moves me in this way. Isn’t that what spiritual partners are all about? Moved by the spirit to touch another’s soul. To uplift. To bring joy, happiness and all those good things in life we missed growing up? Do you feel me? I feel you?

 But today I feel something I never felt before. Like a blossoming rose spreading its tender petals in the morning light, I have something profound to say to you. As the sun peeks out through the distant clouds over the horizon, a glimmer of something you never thought existed, peers into your eyes and sparks a breath of life newly born. Oh, how I long to see your smile.

 Hold on. I’m not done making love to you let. Wait, there is more. As if in some infinite game of after play I’ve been stricken with that smile on your face, the face I last saw many moons ago. Was it in the video? Was it a skype call? I don’t remember. But it wasn’t a picture for sure. It was the crystal clear shot of your smile forever and indelibly frozen in my mind’s eye. Yes, I have a photographic memory, if only a selective memory, but I remember.

 I remember the black top you wore to attempt to hide your perky nipples and your life sized areolas. The blouse could not hide them as I let my imagination wonder. Like superman, I have xray vision too and I learned a long time ago how to undress you with my eyes. I saw you half naked, just before you slipped unclothed into bed with me. I will never forget that moment. Brain fried, these thoughts never laid to the side, I will forever be captivated by the nakedness of your intimacy. You trusted me once. Will you ever trust me again?

 There is no hope for me. There is no escape for me. I will forever be bound to you in a world of forever longing, wanting something I can never have, something you will never give me. Am I right? Will we ever get in bed together again? Or like me, will you let the memories slowly fade away? And the sun peeks out brighter from behind the distant cloud. The sunrise burns glorious in its natural beauty, nature at it’s best. Awe inspiring to say the least, but as I look directly at the bright speck in the sky it temporarily leaves a spot on my cornea, a yellow flash burn that I can see clearly when I close my eyes. That deep impression reminds me of you and it warns me to be careful when looking deeply into your soul.

 I see the burning desire of love, loosely constrained by your marriage vows, tightly coupled with a desire to see fiery fury of another night chasing ecstasy. Will I leave a burning sensation in your heart today? It is there. I didn’t put it there, but your deepest, arcane desires loom in the dark recesses of your mind only to be exposed as I shine a light on the moment once forgotten. The bad girl moment. The moment we both through our morality aside and traded it all for illicit pleasure. How can I forget those special moments? Have you forgotten me?  But I digress.

 Today is about a new awakening, a spiritual awakening, fueled by the closeness of our emotional connection. Think about it? Can you feel me now? Can you feel the warm place I hold for you in my heart, the place that only you can fill with your insatiable appetite for the better things in life? Why do you waste your time with me? There is only one outcome we will both live to see. Another night of passionate love making. But again, I digress.

 I promised you something you never had before, something new like the sun shining brightly for another day. Look out your window and you will see what I see. The fresh air will hit you with a welcome and rejuvenating smile, because when you see natures beauty, you will see me. You will see my love and understand that it was meant to be. My love was held for you in a time capsule waiting for you to open your heart to me one day, knocking on the door, begging for entry into the fantasies you shared with me. But is will not stand aside waiting for that special day any longer, because today is the day.

 Today is the day I love you like it is my last. Today captures the split second in time when I lay my head on your welcoming breast and feel the thump, thump, thump of your heartbeat. Today is the day you capture your moment in time when you feel alive and willing to share a special moment with me. I don’t know how you will capture it. It may be in a voice memo or a short video uploaded to Skype or maybe it will be a long video uploaded to google drive, just send me the link. Share that piece of you that’s ready to connect with a piece of me. I know, it won’t be too erotic in nature, but the romance in your voice, the passion in your heart, the uplifting notes singing a lover’s song in your spirit is all that I need to see. Like a butterfly flapping it’s wings causes a tornado far away on the other side of the world, I will feel your breath in my ear as if you were here, right next to me. I will feel your invigorating hug and the inspiration of your forever optimistic reality.

This is what I had to tell you that I never told you before, how the butterfly effect lives in you and me. How an innocent blush and a seductive smile, miles and miles away, are carried through the ether to land in my heart today. That is how strong my love yearns for you today. That is why you feel so close to me today and that is the only reason I can write to you in this way. You move my heart. You move my spirit. You move me. You give me all I could ever hope to receive. A bright red orange is the color for this revelation today. Fade to #FF9966, atomic tangerine.

A Place

Let me take you to a place you’ve been before, to a place where you want to be. A place where the sounds of love abound, a place welcoming you and me. We may not get there together, we may not come together, but we can both get there just the same.

You have a yearning in your heart. Something you want that you’re not getting. That’s OK, I yearn for it too. If we do it just right, if you help me get there, I can reach back and give it to you. But maybe you will be the first through the door, the pathway to ecstasy and delight. If you get there without me, will you give back and show me your love tonight?

That’s OK. It’s alright. It’s normal to want something more in life, something special in life. I’ve heard it too. The sound of sweet lovemaking permeating the air and tickling my passions and desires. But when you heard it next door and you were convinced to pursue it, to get a little dose of the same, you didn’t know at the time that to get it, you simply had to give the same.

But who am I? What am I? Who will be your lover tonight? That’s the beauty of love, you can have what you want, all the time. To get what you want, just say what you want. I have it. It will be given to you.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 NIV

You came to my love bar and pulled up a chair and saw the menu of love to choose from. Hugs, kisses, and sweet caresses, all there right in front of your eyes, only a touch screen away. Reach out. Click the link. You’ll get there. Just give me your order and I’ll whip it right up and you’ll get it so quick, faster than you can say Jiminy Cricket.

If you want love, give love and you will receive love. It’s as simple as this, just say what you want and offer to give just the same. That’s the priceless gift that awaits you in this magical place, a place in my heart where you came.


FWB – Mr. Right

Mutually beneficial relationships are built on open and honest communication and trust.

Stay resolute and your vision will come true. You will have me. Your dream come true. Your knight in shining armor to grant your every wish. I’m here to please you.

Be brave. Be courageous. Don’t be afraid to ask for your heart’s desire. Yes, I will be your Mr. Right. I will be your FWB, your friend with benefits.

I will give you whatever you want whenever you want it. All you have to do is ask. Yes. Take a risk and say what you want. That’s the only way you will get it. Nobody can read your mind. Nobody can guess what it is you want. You have to verbalize it.

Please tell me what you want so I can give it to you. You deserve it. You’ve earned it. You’ve been a good girl long enough. Now it’s time to throw caution to the wind and live your life to the fullest.

OK, listen to my voice and let your imagination wander. I have faith in you and you can put your trust in me. Let me have it. Let me have all of it. I know you can do it. Just remember, whatever happens, I will be here for you. I’ll be your friend with benefits. I’ll be your FWB tonight.